Awful

Since Sophie went to the hospital, I have been reflecting on the word "AWFUL." One day, when I picked Meg up, she told me that it had been an awful day. Sophie wouldn't eat (1.5 oz the whole day), she choked and stopped breathing often, and she was a floppy, listless little baby. Plus there's Olivia (her 3 year old). I won't elaborate on that one right now. Anyway, then we were in the car on a 45 minute trip to Grandma's. Nikell was a little whiny so I started pointing out cows and horses and trucks to her. I then laughed and told Meggin that our 14 hours road trip had consisted of me pointing out every cow and horse and truck and train that I could find in order to keep her distracted. Once again, the response, "How awful." My thought was that it wasn't really that awful. Better than crying for 14 hours. Then Sophie was transported by ambulance to the emergency room and later life-flighted to Primary Childrens'. Many people told me how awful that must be. But Meggin's response was one of great relief, not horror. Finally her baby was in a safer place and emotionally she was better off than she had been for several days. So what is awful? It's a state of mind. Something awful for me might not even be a problem for you. I decided that I would try to not make anything awful anymore. It's all good with prayers and a positive attitude. Unfortunately, pregnancy hormones (or hormones in general) don't help. Sometimes I am quite the angry awful person. But I will continue to pray for charity...for patience...and kindness and maybe one day God will grant me this gift permanently and not just on a temporary basis.

Oh, and Sophie has her tubes out! She has some oxygen going in her nose and the feeding tube was still in last night, but wasn't really being used since Meg has been able to feed her. I guess they have been pumping breast milk in through the feeding tube (for those of you who have asked). I think she was transfered to a lower risk room this morning where they will continue to watch her for a day or two. If anyone wants the phone number of that room call me and I will give it to you. Right now I think Meggin's biggest fear is taking her home!

Remind me to tell you a story later about Mialee riding her bike...Oh and Trav and Crystal thanks for coming over the other night. You are both sooo much fun. We're so glad that you are up here to play with!