Tuesday, September 9, 2008
On Responsibilities
There are a few things that I think are nicely and succinctly divided into husband responsibilities and wife responsibilities. Like plumbing. That is definitely not my job and when I go downstairs to find a cascading waterfall in the computer room I have no doubt that my husband will get right on that. And dishes. No matter how much I wish and hope that it wasn't my job, I know, without a doubt that unless it's my birthday, mothers day, or my husband is desperate for sex, I am the only one that will do the dishes. Then there are those items that we disagree on...like taking out the garbage. For some reason I really think that garbage duty is a boys job. That is why my garbage can is overflowing 75% of the time. I used to think that mowing the lawn was a boys job too. I had never mowed a lawn before I got married (unless you count that one time that Aaron had to leave before he was done and so he showed me how to push the mower up and down the lawn 5 times and then let go and park it on the grass). So imagine my chagrin when I found myself married to someone who actually likes the lawn 10 feet long. I also tend to think that fixing anything in general is Jason's job. But I am finding that this too is negotiable. Like the railroad tie flower box behind the garage that is falling down. Seems like a boys job to me. Too bad the boy disagrees. Anyone know how to fix a railroad tie flower box? And fixing my husband a lunch. I know Jason thinks that this should be my job. But I tend to think that making dinner and doing the dishes is sufficient. Put you own dang leftovers in a tupperware. And then there are those things that there isn't really a disagreement about whose job it is, if only agreement meant achievement. Can you guess? Family Home Evening! Oh, and mating the socks. I hate that. I know I should do it, but I really hate it. I guess it all boils down to love. It's so easy to get caught up in the 50/50 relationship instead of the 100/100. But seriously, sometimes my 100 has got to be more than his 100 :)... After all I am perfectly willing to get up and pour him a bowl of cold cereal anytime he wants me to.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
13 comments:
True true. Until recently, since I was the breadwinner, Clinton had a lot of "wife" jobs like doing laundry and making meals and we still split the dishes evenly-ish. Now we both work and there's a lot of the "overflowing 75% of the time" in more things than the trash. I look forward to retirement, but I think I still agree that garbage is a boy's job. :)
I was sneaky . . . when I recently made Ricky a chore chart, I added Kevin and I to it, too! Of course, it was under the premise that Ricky would get it better by seeing our example, but I sure had fun picking out which chores Kevin would get to do!! hee hee And, being the mild husband he is, he hasn't complained one bit!
I just can't believe you mentioned s-e-x on your blog! Way to not be shy, JD!!! And yes, the garbage, no question, the man's job. And yes, mine too is overflowing 75% of the time.
By 'Oby' I meant 'Tara.' Don't know how that happened.
Seems like such a change of heart since father's day. Of course, after re-reading that post, I realized that the only thing that he actually 'does' is put away his shoes. Hope he changes soon. Does he not know you have a blog? Does he read it?
Who is nsfima? It doesn't seem like a change of heart to me, only a disagreement on duties. I'll make my lunch (please help every third Thursday) and I'll mate my socks. I'll even take out the garbage occasionally. But if I only do the dishes twice a year except when I'm desperate...then if I subtract 2 from the number of times I've done the dishes this year, I've been desperate way too many times.
I was so happy that you found my blog. It's so fun to find out what old friends are doing. Your girls are so cute. Keep in touch.
You kill me. I'm laughing my guts out. I have come to a point in my life that if I want something done, I guess I will just have to do it. Who knows how long this will last. Good luck!
Yep, he knows I have a blog and thankfully he understands humor and sarcasm too! It's okay to disagree and I think to even "feel sorry" for myself occasionally. He's still my best friend and a wonderful husband and honestly, he does the dishes a few more times a year than being desperate--but how funny of a post would that have been? And yes, he is very good at putting away his shoes (better than me!).
The division of labor battle continues at my house too. Thought we would have figured it out before now. BUT, 1 thing I know for sure, DON'T start doing something that you do not want to continue the rest of your life. Once 'he' knows that you can and will do it, 'he' will let you!
You two are amazing! And it is true - after 43 years of marriage there are still responsibilities hanging out there in limbo. I just don't know how they ever get done!! Also, I attended a seminar years ago on marriage relationships. Two things I remember from that lecture. 1) Sometimes men just don't see things that need done - like putting Suzy's shoes on her on Sunday morning when you are struggling to get ready for church. (you have to ask him to do it) 2) If you want him to do a particular job, but you are not willing to wait for him to do it on his timetable, then do it yourself. It doesn't seem fair but I found many times that it saved my sanity. Marriage is trying but mostly fun and rewarding or we wouldn't have stuck together for eternity! PS I love your wit and sarcasm.
You make me laugh!:)
Post a Comment