What or who or when or how did someone save you? I know you have all been "saved" at one time or another in your life. So tell me about it. I'll tell you one, but please know that your definition of "saved" need not be the same as mine. You can be creative. I'll take whatever I can get.
So, this might get a little long. Skip it if you want. But still answer the question...I want to know!
When I was a kid, we moved to West Point and I made a friend. She was nice enough, but really looking back, she was never that great of a friend. We hung out almost every day. I remember asking her who her best friend was. I think I was maybe 10th on her list. But, when you're a kid, you pretty much have your neighbors and that's it. 7 years we were friends. Sleep overs, parties, mud holes, movies. You name it, if it's what friends did, we did it. Then one day she started to ignore me a little more than usual. Then she started avoiding me a bit. And I started to figure out she was ignoring me and avoiding me. Then I started doing little experiments to see if she, and our other friends, really cared about me. When we would walk down the hall in junior high, I would hang back, slow down, and even stop. Guess what? They left me. Over and over they left me. Then I got brave and confronted her. This is what she told me, and yes, I remember it to this day it, is still burned into my soul, "I don't want to be your friend anymore. We can say hi in the hall and stuff but I just don't want to be around you." I asked her why. No reason. I cried. For 3 or 4 years, I cried. I remember going to school after that day. I would go to my locker and grab some books or some papers and then I would walk up and down the halls quickly so it looked like I had somewhere important to go. So it didn't look like I didn't have a friend in the world. So I didn't look alone.
Anyway, after a couple of years of going to school and church and young women activities and being surrounded by people and yet utterly alone, it started to wear on me. I finally got to the point where I realized that I needed to either start over or be done with it. So, in high school, I decided to find some new friends. I walked up to some people that I had some classes with in junior high and I said, "Hi, will you let me hang out with you?" Obviously they did not know that my very being hung in the balance. They did not know that it took me a week to work up the guts to ask. They did not know that if they said no that it would destroy me.
They said yes. Simply and with a smile, "Yes." And as I sit here today, tears roll down my face because I can still feel the relief in their answer. Hoping and then knowing that I would no longer have to pretend to have friends. That I wouldn't have to pretend to be important. That I wouldn't have to be alone anymore.
And then, even more amazing, two people in particular began to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and soul. They smiled at me. They invited me to parties. They included me. They did the 12 days of Christmas for me.
They didn't have to. They had friends. A lot of friends. But they did. They saved my life one act, one smile, one day at a time. I never asked them how they knew. I never even asked them if they knew. But I have thanked God for them over and over and over.
8 comments:
There are a lot of different "saves" and I think yours is - in lots of ways - more crucial than almost any other.
I'll post.
Loved this post. Lots of us are saved by friends. I know I have been many times over. A friend that knew what I needed. Again, Loved this post:)
I am glad that you were saved Jeri, because. . . you are SO worth saving! You are awesome! I hope I can be a friend like those two who saved you!
Just when I was getting my blog updated so I could play along you throw another all guts post out there. Holy smokes! I want to cry. I knew you all those years and never knew you felt that way. Interesting how we can be surrounded by people and not know so many of us in the room could feel all alone.
I want to post my saved. I even wrote it, but I can't put it on my blog because there are some who may read my blog that it may offend, when I really want them to be touched by the gospel instead.
My first thought was a very similar situation to yours, but since I didn't want to copy, I thought a bit longer. I found another time that I was very much saved.
The year after my dad died was awful. I'd spent so much time taking care of him that I was suddenly lost. I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't have kids (a sore spot of its own), my job lacked recognition for my hard work, and I was struggling with some women I served with at church. It just sucked, but I didn't realize the funk I was in.
I finally saved myself, in essence. I broke down and told my bishop to release me. I was raised to NEVER do this. You didn't ask for a calling and you didn't ask to be released from one, but I couldn't stand it any more. The bishop thanked me when I was given a new calling just a couple of weeks later. If I hadn't spoken to him, he would not have let me have the new calling.
In my new calling, I found new friends, I found peace, I found my smile again. My husband says I found myself. I may say I saved myself, but the Lord really saved me. He let me ask to be released and let me know that it was ok. I was (and am) so thankful for the gospel. It saves me all the time.
I was saved by a scripture several years ago. I was really struggling with relationships, testimony, and just knowing where I fit in in our ward. I had prayed so much for help and I tried to be diligent in reading my scriptures to find an answer. One night I turned to Alma 33:23. The part that hit me was "And even all this can ye do if ye will." I realized that it was up to me to change my situation and the Lord would help me. I had been trying, but I had been going about it in the wrong way. I started reading my scriptures every night and asking my Heavenly Father for specific help. It wasn't overnight, but I was eventually able to be happy again and I hadn't been happy for what seemed like forever. I love the scriptures! The amazing thing is, last year I was feeling overwhelmed with LTC stuff and I came to this same scripture in my reading and the part about "your burdens being made light" gave me the comfort I needed at that time. The Lord will never leave us alone, we just need to remember to do our part to receive His help.
After seeing other long replies, I decided to go ahead and post it here. I don't feel like I am playing fair otherwise.
For years I changed groups of friends. I am not sure if I was looking for true friends or validation of who I was. Sometimes I sensed I didn't really belong. I often had friends that weren't members or they weren't active. In Jr. High I became friends with people who were more accepting, maybe because their standards weren't too high. I started doing dumb things and getting into trouble. What it did to my self esteem was the most destructive. I pulled away.
I found another group of friends, we all made a pact that we wouldn't do such and such. We had a great time, we were very close, but as we got closer to High School things began to change. They were all headed in a direction I didn't want to go. I didn't want to lose out on friends, ones I was close to, at such an important time of life, but I found the courage and pulled away again.
This time I decided.... I ... was in charge of my life. I began making friends in Seminary and my life changed. I hope the person you all remember is who I became when I was saved. I remember being at the temple with you & Shelley, I told you how I felt like the black sheep of seminary council. You both reached out and tried to assure me that wasn't so. It helped so much to have good friends.
But I can't say that was what saved me. I discovered a relationship with my Savior that I never knew could exist. He loved me and with him I always belong. I feel saved because my life is SO DIFFERENT than it could have been. I feel grateful every day for the way it is now. Some things are still the same. I can still feel lonely and like some of my friends may not be the right fit, but I know who I am and that he loves me.
This has been an insightful question with lots of heartfelt answers!! I was feeling kind of bad that I missed when you first posted this, but I am touched by the answers you've gotten. Amazing friends we have.
I love your story. I had no idea that we were both struggling with the same sorts of things in school. I'm glad they reached out to you!
I blogged my answer. I'm too much of an exhibitionist and I didn't know how long it would go.
I like this game. It makes me think.
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