Auto Correct Fails... Taken from a post on facebook (and edited a bit for language)

#1 Text

How's ur day going?

Awful, I have a bad case of the manboobs.

Oh no! The MONDAYS! Not the manboobs!

Hahaha. That's HILARIOUS!

#2 text from "Mom"

Everything OK? I haven't heard from you in a few days?

Yup. Sorry Ma, I just came out of the closet.

Oh Matthew! That is great.

I always had a hunch.

I love you no matter what. So does your father.

Holy Crap. I'm not gay Ma.

I meant coming out of the clinic now. Autocorrect.

Oh, I see.

The real issue is, you think I'm gay???

#3 Text from "Jason"

Hey bro, I hate to ask this but could you spot me some cash?

Hi! What for and how much?

I'm like $300 short on my MOTTSAPPLESAUCE payment due on the 15th.

Uh how much applesauce did you buy from them? What the heck Jason?

I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe.

I wrote mortgage payment and I have no idea why my phone did that. I wrote motts applesauce once to Jen while she was shopping.

#4 Text from "Bryan"

So how was the date last night bro?

Did you score?

not quite. first date we went to dinner and then walked her home

then I killed her in the woulds outside her house and left

killing her seems a bit harsh. did she order the lobster and filet mignon at dinner or something?

******KISSED**** what the heck?

#5 Text from "Big Sis"

Whatcha up to?

Nothing just cleaning mom's vagina for thanksgiving dinner

Hahahah What?

Agh. I tried to type CHINA. Auto correct fail.

Bad visual.

Yeah, I think she can handle the other thing on her own.

#6 Text from "Chris"

Thanks again for the amazing first date

Any time! ;) Whens the 2nd date? I can't wait to see those big beautiful nipples of yours.

NO

I'm so sorry. I meant dimples. My phone changed it.

I did not mean to write nipples.

I am going to jump off a bridge now.

#7 Text from "Charlie"

Awwww. I miss you too.

Don't think I'm wierd but I'm sleeping with that Sh## you left in the bathroom...

WHAT?!?!?

Yeah, it smells like you and if makes me feel better when you're not here.

If you're trying to be cute for funny it's not working.

OOOOHHHH MYYYYY!

I meant SHIRT.

I'm going to kill myself right now.

#8 Text from "Jake"

Are you done painting jason's living room yet?

Yeah, just finished.

What color is it again?

It's called period red.

Dude. No. You're sick.

It's called PERSION RED!! I got autocorrect. Epic Fail.

We are dying here right now.