The Joys of a Three Year Old

There are a lot of things I love about three-year olds; the way they see the world, the way they express truth, the way they have to jump everywhere. But there is one thing that drives me absolutely nuts...the innate desire for control over choices and then being unable to make a choice. Here is a run-down of my days, lately:

Morning: Good morning Nikell. Let's get you dressed. Version One: "Would you like this outfit or this outfit?" Answer: "No. I no like it." Version Two: "Why don't you pick what outfit you want to wear?" Answer: "No, I want you to help me." Version Three: "I picked this super cute outfit for you to wear today. Look it has butterflies and it's pink!" Answer: "Nope. I don't want that one." Version Four: "Okay, I picked one and you didn't like it. So I picked another one and you didn't like it. Now you go pick an outfit." Answer: "No! I want you to help me!" Aaarrgghhh.

Snack Time: Thankfully, Nikell likes Oatmeal for breakfast. She eats it a lot and it's not an argument. However, snacks are a different story. She usually says, "Can I have a snack?" And I say, "Sure, what would you like?" Her answer? "Something." Seriously. Okay, how about a cracker. "No, I want something!" How about an apple? "No, I want something?" What is something, Nikell? "Something, I want something!" Okay! Get in the cupboard and get something then! "No, I want you to help me!"

Later...: "Mom, I need a drink." Okay, what do you want a drink of? "Milk." Could it be? A simple choice made without drama or tears? I am on the brink of shouting "Halleluah!" as I get the cup out and she says, "No, I don't want that cup!" Yeah, my eyeballs just about popped out of their sockets when they rolled around in frustration, just now. "Yellow?" Nikell, "No blue." Okay, here you go. "I NEED A LID!" I can't find the blue lid, how about a red one? "No. I need blue." I can't find blue. "I NEEEEED IT!" I can't find it Nikell. It's not there. I can't get it for you if it's not there. "NOOOO, I NEEEED IT. I NEED THE BLUE ONE." This is about the point that I tell her I'm sorry there is nothing I can do for her, pop on the red lid, and walk away.

Dinner: "Mommy, I hungry." Great, I am making dinner. "No, I don't want dinner I want a cracker." No. No crackers, you need to wait for dinner. "I don't want dinner. I don't like it! I want a cracker." Nikell, I know you are hungry, that's the point. Just give me five more minutes and we can have dinner. "NO! I don't like it. I want a cracker. Please." No. Dinner.....

Going for a walk: Nikell, go get your shoes on. "Okay! I want green flip flops." Great, where are your green flip-flops? "I don't know. You need to find them for me." No, I don't. If they're not in the closet then I don't know what you did with them and I am not going to search for them. Go look in your room, but if you can't find them then you might have to choose a different shoe. "No, I don't want to. I want green flip-flops. Ooooohhhhh. I want them." If you can't find them, then you can't wear them. How about these ones? "No." These? "No." Okay, well these are the only choices you have and I am leaving. So please choose. "No. I want green flip-flops!" Okay, see ya. "Nooooo! Wait for me!"....

Night Time: Go get your jammies on. "Will you help me?" Sure. How about these? "Nope." How about these? "Uhh--uh." Okay, here is the basket. Pick some out. "I want stripeys." Your stripey ones are dirty because you have worn them for a week straight and I finally pried them of your dirty little body and crammed them down the chute when you weren't looking. "You have ta wash them?" Yes. "Oh. Okay. They clean now?" No, I haven't washed them yet. "But I want to wear them." Sorry, you'll have to choose a different pair. "Will you help me?" Screaming...it's me, not Nikell...I can't take it anymore.

Bed Time: Okay, nighty-night time. "Will you read me a story?" (This really means tell me a story and I have learned not to start without clarifying what the story should be about.) So I ask, "What about?" Her latest passion is bears and ducks and snakes. I always have to tell at least two stories and then calmly explain for the next 10 minutes that I already told her allotted two stories and now it's bed time. To which she replies, "Sing me a song about a bear and a snake and a duck." I don't know a song about a bear and a duck and a snake. She then tells me how to sing it and I repeat it and she tells me I am doing it wrong. So she tells me again and I repeat it EXACTLY how she did it (she's three for goodness sake, how complicated could it really be?) and she tells me that I did it wrong. So I tell her to sing it then because I obviously don't know how to do it right. And she says, "No, I want you to sing it!" Okay. How about I sing you a song I do know about a bear? "Yay!" she says, while clapping her cute little hands with joy. So I sing it and then she needs another one. So I sing another one. Then she wants more. So I calmly explain that I have now told her allotted two stories and sang her allotted two songs and she is definitely going to bed now. "No, lay with me!" and she grabs hold for dear life in a toddler bear hug. So I tickle her and pry myself away nicely, but ever so firmly....45 minutes later I am shutting the door and wondering how soon I will be back...