Nikell Anna

Today I am busily making brownies for a friends wedding. I am supposed to supply three jelly-roll pans full. So far, two pans have failed and the third I tried a completely different recipe--which I am dissatisfied with. So, at this point in time, I'll be lucky if I don't end up making 10 pans...That'll teach me to be confident in offering my support in the cooking arena. I'll look on the bright side someday and say something like, "Failure keeps me humble." Right now, though, I am ready to spit nails...

While I am taking a break from my brownie failing, I thought I would update on Nikelly-Belly.

Nikell is little, all around, except her belly. Many, many, months ago I noticed that her little belly began to protrude. She also started complaining of tummy aches. She stopped eating well too. At her 4 year check up, the Dr. reported her gaining 1 pound in the last year... Then she started throwing up about once a week or every two weeks. She's tired and lethargic (they're different, right?). She has dark circles under her eyes.

I could bore you with all the details of the last LONG while, but let's just say it's been a rollercoaster. I tried several things on my own and she would seem to get better and then she would throw up...again. Her little belly blows up like a balloon. She tells me how she doesn't feel well. I tried taking her to the doctor several times too. Then we tried several other things. She would seem to get better and then she would throw up. Her belly is till big. Her tummy still hurts. I tried a foot zoner. We have given her a blessing. I am running out of ideas.

My heart is breaking for this little girl. She is trying so hard to enjoy life. She is so patient as we drag her from place to place and try food after food and medicine after medicine. She tries not to be too needy in a family of 5 kids and is very accepting when I can't just sit down and hold her. But I want my baby back. The little girl who is vibrant and funny and charming. I want to see her enjoy running and riding her bike instead of gritting her teeth and working at it because it's supposed to be fun. I want to hear her ask me to go outside and play. I want to see her jump and roll and not just sit and contemplate.

We are up to the "specialists" now in the field of doctors. We tested her for a few things and found that she has an IGA deficiency--which just makes it harder to test her for other things and adds a whole new possibility to her problems. Friday we get to go in for an endoscopy. So what does this mean? It means that every night when I lay my tired head down for the night, I pray. I pray really hard that this will be the doctor that will be inspired to finally figure out the problem so that we can begin to find the solution. I pray that she will gain a little weight. I pray that her poor little belly won't pop out soo much tomorrow. I pray that she will smile because she feels good and that she will run because she wants too and that we won't have to go lay down when we're done. I pray that she won't throw up or tell me that her belly hurts....

Another day...another test...and we'll take it as it comes. We are happy and we feel blessed and know that the Lord will guide us and give us the answers in His own time. But I'm sure your petitions wouldn't hurt...