You know what? I am going to have a baby.....soon. Last week, when I was checked, I was actually dilated to a 1 and effaced to 70%. Now I realize that this doesn't really mean anything--except that my body IS getting ready to have a baby. So, the question is, why am I feeling a little detached about the whole thing?
My theory is this....emotion overload. Too busy to care. It all started with Young Womens (you know the story). Add to that the feat of trying to get our kitchen done and then most recently the tragic canal explosion AND the fact that my kids are sick...I really am having a hard time keeping up. Not that I feel behind (at least not ALL the time). Actually, I really don't know how I feel. I really don't. My friend asked if I was happy. Hmmmmm. I'm not unhappy.
Anyway, as of yet, I haven't packed a bag, picked out a name, or even pulled out the baby bed. I should probably do some of these things, but I'm not really feeling all that interested. Oh, this kind of puts Jason in a bind too because he is in charge of the middle name. But he decided to go to Scout Camp for a couple of days so I am not going to feel sorry for him!
I would tell you the top five names on my list, but then (no offense) you would give me your opinions and honestly (again, no offense) I really don't care what you think when it comes to naming my children :). Was that rude? Sorry...it's that lack of emotions, I think.
4 comments:
Is it emotion overload or "What happens, happens?" Somethings, okay most things-like when a baby is born, getting other people's 'to do list' done we have no control over. SO...what happens, happens. Keep on, Keepin' on!
I remember all to well just not caring. And really it is not that you don't care, but there is no point in worrying too much, everything will work out, everything will fall into place, etc, etc. Baby bed will be found (whether you find it or not), the baby will come whether the hospital bag is packed, and the name will come. Allow the indifference. It will all be okay. Love you...Kellie
You know to you, you probably feel unprepared or whatever but you really are no different than me. I knew the day I was going to have my baby (well kind of) so when did I pack the bag, while I was in labor. When did we pick out a name the minute we were walking out the door (which I still wasn't sure of) and when did I put the baby bed up, well ok, I had this done before the baby was born but only because my friend had borrowed it and washed it and everything before she brought it back to me. Like the previous said it all falls into place :). I think sometimes having a baby doesn't feel real until it happens plus with all the going ons in your life I am sure you are feeling like what next :).
I know the feeling all too well myself and I know you'll get through it and all will be back to normal (or some semblance of some sort of normalcy). Even if you're not feeling it, get that bag packed, just because you never know. I hope you get everything done you need to.
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